All signs point back to him

The date today is January 19th. The day my brother, Nick, was born into this world. I've been thinking of him all day, even more than usual (if you can believe that's possible). And you know what is so incredible? He is thinking about me, too.

I know it.

He does this thing every so often, mostly on significant days like today. I like to call them, Nick Smiles. Just like his real smile, these little things that he shows to me brighten up my day and melt my heart. Days like today when the rainy, gray and cloudy weather directly reflects my mood, I could use a little sunshine.

It was just a small one this time, which may have been overlooked if I hadn't have been paying attention. Some people may think that I am reaching a bit or looking too much into something that may have no meaning. Before you decide either way, there are some things you should remember. The first thing is that for the past several years (7 to be exact) I have had this image in my head of what I would like to get tattooed in remembrance my brother. In my head I imagine a beautiful  compass, like those they use in the key of old nautical maps. NESW, or Nicholas Eric Wanlass Salazar. I imagine that the Northern point stands taller than the rest, pointed straight up and directs me to heaven. In the sky above the compass entwined in the stars I see the words, May Angels Lead You In. I got my first tatoo last Saturday (mostly to make sure that I could handle the heat) and while I was in there I had asked my friend Shae to start drawing up my compass. Things are in motion.

My first tattoo

The second thing I would like for you to remember is that I am a creature of habit. I have rigid schedules and strict routines, especially here at work. I rarely meander off my schedule and never do things out of order. As part of getting ready for the weekend and preparing myself to come into a neat and tidy workplace on Monday, I always empty the recycling as part of my Friday regimen. Ask me why I took the bin out today, and I couldn't tell you. Not that it is necessarily relevant, but I will tell you this. I carried my little blue bin to the big canister and would you guess what was staring directly back at me?

I had to take a picture, I couldn't believe it. If it means nothing, so be it. If someone just happened to put an old map in the same bin in the same hall that I was headed, and it just happened to contain a compass facing directly out right at me, then I guess I am just looking into something that means nothing.

Either way, it brings me immense comfort to think about.
Either way, it melted my heart -just a tad- on a day that it felt numb and cold.

And either way, January 19th has and will always be a day that I celebrate my baby brother, and will serve as a reminder of the 16 wonderful years I got to spend with this beautiful soul.

I love you, Nick. Keep on smilin'.